Dr Love Ph.D

The crush, the turn down, the rebound. That little sequence pretty much depicts what many of us go through . We liked someone who suddenly became the answer to all our hopes and dreams of happiness; we were turned down or ignored by them; and finally we rebounded either in hope of wining their affection from a distance or because we became enamored with someone newer - better, someone who appreciated us for who we really were etc.

Pay attention to that language because that language is what we were after all along in our pursiut of a lover. It wasn’t because they were so grand in themselves that we loved them but rather because their granduer meant that our own pride might be uplifted by someone as lovely as them to lavish you or I with affections daily.

Which is why the turn down was so hard, why it felt more like a dehumanization than a difference of taste and interest.The dangerous thing about rebounds is that they don’t address the problem present in the love lost. I can remember my great pursuit, cycling through this sequence while all along endeavoring to truly learn and grow.

In the end I realized that relationships were more than just affirmation, that they had an ontology that had to be acknowledged. You see man was created in God’s image, that image had a story, a purpose, it had history. And until I acknowledged potential lovers as creations rather than just relationships I would never learn to appreciate and love them beyond what they gave/reciprocated to me. And once I realized their ontology, the cycle was much easier to break and the lessons I learned inside relationships made more sense.

I was growing in my appreciation and wisdom regarding God’s handiwork, its story and history; more than just trying to solve the individual mysteries of why they did or didn’t share my interest, of why we didn’t or did go the distance.

To put it another way my lifeboat had people who’s value wasn’t weighed in their ability to have relationships with me alone but rather in the imprint they bore from their maker.

God Is Love . Be Healed